Monday, June 29, 2009

Different Drummers

This is a sweet gem a friend passed along to me today. I don't know what this is, why it happened or how it came to be I'm just glad that it did. Best I can descibe it is that these poor fellows have been captured (the obvious crime of wearing either a red or turquoise turtleneck), tried and sentenced to a life of hard swinging and rocking whilst being barked at by a draconian overlord in white fluffy ear muffs and epaulettes.

Side note: You might recognize one of the drummers, the skinny bloke on the right side with the leather cap and sunglasses trying not to be recognized....that's Ginger Baker of Cream. Also appearing is Andy White, English session drummer, who was the only other person besides Paul McCartney, to play drums on a Beatles song. White played on the U.S. single versions of "Love Me Do" and "P.S. I Love You."

The Passion of the Note

If you are like me, you like passion. And If you are really like me, you really like aggression. And if you are really, really, really like me, you really like

Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Beatles Rock Band Intro

I wish the whole game looked like this.

The Beatles: Rock Band Intro from Micheal Howard on Vimeo.

London Calling

The Dildoist

Woman: "How was work today, dear?"
Man: "Well, let's see...I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count."

Friday, June 26, 2009

The Emperor's New Shoes

There have been many in a long line of annoyingly horrible shoe fads. As of late we've been seen Crocs, Uggs and those stupid peasant slippers that every skinny-jeaned she-douche hipster seems to come equipped with. Plus, let us not forget the "fanny pack" of all footwear: those stupid ass hiking sandals that look like something The Predator would wear to a weekend up to Big Sur, that ironically, always end up on the feet on the most obese and sedentary individuals to ever wear white socks.

With that being said I introduce to you the Vibram Five Fingers. (I guess the Five Toes had less of a ring to it.) And while they have been around for a while, there has been a marketing push as of late to make them next big thing. Even TIME magazine awarded them one of the best inventions of 2007. The website even claims that these glorified footie socks will "make you stronger and healthier, improve your balance, agility and proprioception"(whatever the fuck that is!) However, I was mildly shocked that the price range for these dorksiders range below the $100 mark.

And while I may be getting ahead of myself by predicting this trend , I'll bet you dimes to donuts that in few months we'll be seeing these in some big movie or tv show and then on the knock off aisle at Walgreens. I call shenanigans on the Vibram Five Fingers! Or should I say shoe-nanigans. Wah wah.

Tyrannosaurus Sex Offender

And the "Coolest Sex Offender Name" Award goes to...........

Tilt shift

Tilt shift photography is amazingly cool and somewhat technical to grasp. I barely know how to turn on my shower, but from what I've read it refers to the use of some sort of lens tilt and a large aperture to achieve a very shallow depth of field. Therefore, it makes things that are big appear in miniature when actually they are anything but.

What you see in these videos is real, not fake or miniaturized, not any kind of CGI wizardry. Keith Loutit is the creator of these videos and if I did drugs he would be my hero.

Metal Heart from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

Mardi Gras from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

Bathtub IV from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

A Famous Person Has Died

Pretty much sums it up.

Thursday, June 25, 2009


I am an unabashed fan of The guy is hilarious. And he just scored a few new points with me on the Perez Hilton lawsuit against the Black Eyed Peas road manager that allegedly assaultled him:

The Black Eyed Peas' manager Polo Molina is being sued for punching Perez Hilton in the face at the 2009 MuchMusic Video Awards Sunday night, according to the AP:

The celebrity blogger, whose real name is Mario Lavandeira, sued the Peas' road manager in Los Angeles for battery and intentional infliction of emotional distress. He is seeking unspecified damages of more than $25,000.

"Perez Hilton was assaulted by the band's road manager because he would not agree to stop writing about the Black Eyed Peas on his Web site," Bryan Freedman, Hilton's lawyer, said in a statement. "Whether you love Perez or hate him, he is entitled to his freedom of speech without fear of physical violence. This lawsuit will make the statement that violence is never the answer."

Wait. I thought he got punched in the face for calling a "fucking faggot" not because he's a shining crusader of first amendment rights. I guess I missed the part where Perez and George Washington battled the King of England for the right to make it look like splooge is falling out of Britney's dress. Must've happen between all the Twitters.

Read It makes fun of celebrities so you don't have to.

Sonya, the slow loris

If you aren't a fan of cute animals you obviously have a heart of pure bituminous coal; like that of a Medieval executioner.

And in case you missed it, here is Sonya's debut to the internets:

Nice Day For A White (Castle) Wedding

When Hairy Met Salli

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Gay Exorcism

I was really bummed because I thought this said "Gay Exercise" video. (Uh, wait did I just say that out loud?)

Seriously, I really don't want to make fun of this because it's actually a really sad story, but I can't help it. And I'm sorry but homosexuality is no more caused by demons than HIV is contracted by stubbing your toe. Unless you stub your toe at a glory hole. Repeatedly. But I digress.

Now just when you think this news piece will show a different, informed side to this whole event there is a woman that's a mentor for gay teens that is interviewed for her perspective. Her last line is, sadly, very funny to me or maybe it's just how it's edited. And making light of this is probably why my black soul will be eaten by an AIDS demon while I sleep.

Squirrel costume for that special nutcase in your life

"I believe that children are our future...

...teach them well and let them lead the way."

That's a nice, but antiquated sentiment given that a lot of kids today have become socially maladjusted, internet-addicted spoiled effing brats. For example, this young lad that has just had his World of Warcraft account shut down by his parents. Good for them. And even better that his younger brother had the where-with-all to document it for posterity.

Breast Rest

I thought the opening line the first time I saw this was "Millions of women like yourself, suffer from a porn nights rest."

Amazing. Someone, other than Billy Mays, thought this was a good idea.


Speaking of senseless products, I'm reposting this one to remind us all that sometimes necessity is not the mother of invention.

Curse of the Bad 80s Perm

From the PBS show Many Voices, Many Vision (circa the 80s i'm sure) comes this winning clip in which a young Caucasian girl is cursed with “looking like a Black boy.”


The Snake Charmer

This needs no set up.


This is an *actual* news report from the Fox news affiliate in Cleveland, OH. I think my favorite line for the whole things is "Tina was too stunned to get a picture, but this is probably what it looked like. But real." Instant classic.

Tawkin' 'bout practice?

Auto tune the news was funny the first time I saw it for about 2.5 minutes. This might be too, but it's pretty clever for a recycled idea. The Joe Namath bit is classic.